Day by Day

March 11, 2020. That is the date of the last time I left my house. It is crazy to
look at that in print. I was a person who COULD NOT stay home. There was always
an activity, with my moms club, an extracurricular for my daughter, shopping to be
done and stores to roam. I have a membership to the natural history museum, the
zoo, the art museum, the science center, two (yes BOTH) aquariums and the LEGO
Discovery Center. Needless to say, we did not lack for activities.
Then, life changed, but it wasn’t just for us, it was for the world. Things came
to a standstill. There was uncertainty and fear, anger and resentment. School was
shut down and stores were closed. Instacart and Amazon became my contact to the
outside world. I am not sure if I have mentioned this before, but my husband serves
in the military, and he isn’t here for the next two years. It is bad enough to have to
go through being a parent of two young children alone, but having to do it during a
pandemic, well we are now in uncharted territory folks.
Of course, 2020 isn’t done with us yet. There are some murder hornets
lurking about, some crazy burrowing cicadas, and most importantly lots of unrest
within our communities. Things are changing, and I really do hope it is for the
better, but change is scary. Like really truly nightmare inducing scary. Each day, we
wake up, and we are just not always emotionally prepared for what the day will
bring. There is not enough to prepare us for the hollow feeling we sometimes feel
inside, or the anger at this new normal, or the fear and dread for our friends and
family. It can be a lot. Many people are always asking me well how are you, how do
you do it. The answer is, I have no choice. No one is going to swoop in here and
“save” me from the choices and decisions I have to make each day. No one is going to
go to sleep with me at midnight, wake with me at 4 am when my 2 year old does. No
one else is going to help my daughter deal with her sometimes crippling anxiety and
anger. No one else is going to take in the garage cans, clean up the house, do the
loads of laundry and entertain and feed two kids all day everyday. It is me. It is me
DAY BY DAY. That is all I can, and honestly it is all any of us can do. Day by day we
deal. We deal with the kids, we deal with the cooking, and we deal with the laundry
and the chaos.
You can do it. There is bracelet that just so happens to illustrate my motto
perfectly. A beautiful simple copper bracelet that I wear to remind myself that yes,
day by day, I am enough for this. I do not need to look to next school year, or next
month, or even next week. Day by day, that is how I do it. That is how you can do it
to. Day by day.

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